Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
