she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
