So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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