I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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