youre lurking in front of me
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
