i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
