This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
