Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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