Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize