We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I need to sanitize my soul.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
