Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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