I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We need a shit load of segways right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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