He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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