I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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