I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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