He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
