Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...

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(704): Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jmqs

Replies (8) Good night (723) Bad night (1356)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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(636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date. http://tfl.nu/58hu

Replies (19) Good night (1904) Bad night (1441)
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(425): View more from Washington

my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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(425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz

Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (2004)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

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(612): Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment. http://tfl.nu/63yr

Replies (11) Good night (3765) Bad night (548)
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(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

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(469): You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that. http://tfl.nu/9raa

Replies (12) Good night (5549) Bad night (704)
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(512): View more from Texas

he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man

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(512): he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man http://tfl.nu/37r4

Replies (21) Good night (5217) Bad night (879)
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(330): View more from Ohio

what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car

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(330): what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8812

Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (3025)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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(864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s

Replies (13) Good night (5042) Bad night (1032)
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(214): View more from Texas

Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

(281): View more from Texas

If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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(214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o

Replies (16) Good night (2376) Bad night (595)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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(304): Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad. http://tfl.nu/m6pm

Replies (5) Good night (1614) Bad night (494)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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(703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17

Replies (1) Good night (1345) Bad night (459)
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(562): View more from California

Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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(562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3

Replies (0) Good night (297) Bad night (498)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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(443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e

Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (240)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me

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(610): Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me http://tfl.nu/c3kb

Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (286)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

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(204): He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits http://tfl.nu/uf23

Replies (5) Good night (315) Bad night (605)

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