Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.