I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits