4 words: hood of his car
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.