:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho