Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer