so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
