Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
