he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize