well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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