He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
