Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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