thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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