So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
