I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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