So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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