Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
