they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
