she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
