Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
