I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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