The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
