The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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