Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
