so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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