I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do vagina's smell?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
