Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
