his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
