He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
