oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
