my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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