I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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