i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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