have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
