My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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