idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
