I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, beer. Big fan.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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