so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
