last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
