your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
