remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.