so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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