I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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