Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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