Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
