all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
