so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
