How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
