Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Will exercising make me less horny?
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