I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize