Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize