I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
