I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
